Mosaic Revelation

When I ride the train to work in the morning, I journal.  This is because it is a waste of time to sit and stare out the window, I can never muster enough focus to read, and my ipod has very poor battery life.  Also writing is good for your brain (so says me, and probably a lot of other people both with and without facts, anecdotes and statistics to back up that assertion.)  Morning journaling also seems to inspire some worthwhile thoughts, and I am going to share with you today’s:

People tend to experience “blue” instead of “ocean.”

Yes, I’m being obnoxious and jumping immediately to the illustrative conclusion.  Allow me to fill in the background:

Story:

I do not work until 8 on Mondays, which means that the train actually fills up on my Monday commutes, and quickly.  Luckily, I am one of the first stops, so I always get a seat (it is hard to write standing up, and there are not many disabled, pregnant old people begging for seats at such an early hour).  Anywho, I was sitting with one leg crossed over the other, being the beautifully feminine thing that I am (yes, some of my hair is less than a centimeter long, leave me alone), and I accidentally kicked a man who entered the train and stood in front of me.  I looked up, briefly mumbled an apology, and immediately looked down at my journal again, as I had been in the middle of a thought.  I also probably turned slightly pink, because a) I have a blushing problem and b) I had just kicked him and c) I was kind of preoccupied with my journal.

Immediately I started to feel guilty about how I had reacted, because my response made me look insecure and insecurity can be easily misread as fear and the dude I had kicked was an African American male and, as a white female my “fear” could easily be misconstrued as racism.  (Insert obligatory reassuring, moderately offensive and nonsensical I-am-not-racist-I-have-black-friends statement here.)

This sudden onset of guilt inspired the following Artsy, Reasoned Conclusion:

“…It’s too easy  to make assumptions without the full picture and it … takes too much energy to put together the whole picture.  …[L]ife is so fragmented: every passing second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year is nothing but one more broken shard of pottery that will be, somehow, someday, pasted down into a large, beautiful [mosaic].  Or perhaps it already has been, but as our experience from moment to moment is so limited … we content ourselves with experiencing “blue” instead of the … amazing …  blue/green/purple/white chaos that is OCEAN. I wish we had the time to look for ocean rather than contenting ourselves with [the one pixel that shouts loudest or crowds nearest.]”

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3 Responses to Mosaic Revelation

  1. Ulysses says:

    Hey Mirror! Ya know, it’s taking that time to put the whole picture together that keeps the mind sharp, although it appears you’ve managed that anyways, just after the fact.

    • tertiaryhep says:

      Supermannnn

      Sometimes it’s impossible to recreate the whole picture, though. And oftentimes its our snap-judgments that get us in trouble, because we forget to look for the whole story instead of the teeny little piece of it that we’ve happened to bump up against.

  2. Ulysses says:

    True true. Sometimes we only see the corner of the surface.

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